make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
