are you still at the devil's house?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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