I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize