we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm both gender and math confused
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
