Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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