Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
