Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
