I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
