Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize