Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
