if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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