porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
