mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ttyl tear gas
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
