Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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