I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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