I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
