i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
