i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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