OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
