We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
