You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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