My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
