come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
