just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
