why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
