Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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