i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
