Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Non-Jews are for practice
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Boobs speak an international language.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
