She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
