Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
