Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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