I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
