Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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