BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
