No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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