someone threw a dead crab at me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
