it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
