Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
