Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
