She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
