So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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