I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
