there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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