Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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