he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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