I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
