Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
