she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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