You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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