For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
