She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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