I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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