i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
