the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
