He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
