dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
