His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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