I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
