The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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