Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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