She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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