someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
