Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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