i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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