They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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