Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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