you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
