lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
