i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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