my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize