thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
