There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
