Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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