they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
