belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
