Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
