you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
