Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
