Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
