# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
