im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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