youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize