what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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