all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
